Falling from Grace
by paintedwithcourage
Summary: Brooke develops an eating disorder and self harm tendencies. Can someone help her before it's too late? TRIGGER WARNING


Brooke was overwhelmed. So much had happened this school year. She had been hypnotized, her brother was taken to prison, and she helped uncover a mystery that saved Alex and Hayley's Mom. It had been chaotic to say the least. Nevertheless, she was determined to have the school year end on a good note.

Her main sports had always been cheerleading and tennis. She loved that cheerleading allowed her to work on a team with people, and that she got to spend time with her friends. Whereas with tennis she preferred to play solo. It was a time she was able to focus on herself. Nothing mattered but her and the ball. It was a great way to clear her head.

She was thinking about these two things after classes in the greenhouse had ended for the day. Since she had some free time, she'd figure she'd go for a run. Running helped build endurance, and it cleared her head. But it wasn't the only reason she was drawn to it. Brooke had secretly been weighing herself in the Eagle's locker room. She kept a scale hidden in her locker. No one knew about it, and she didn't see why anyone would have to. If she wanted to keep an eye on her weight, then she should be allowed to. However, it had become secretive, a project she focused on instead of thinking about her brother being in prison, and having been taken advantage of and used by Daniel's Mom. Becoming thinner and healthier was the distraction she needed. It pushed her emotions to the back of the mind. And she thought that what she was doing was good.

She changed into running clothes, and looked in the mirror. She couldn't remember a period of several weeks in her life because of the hypnosis. It made her so angry that she had been used like that. Just as she was spiraling into a daydream, her best friend Sophie walked by.

"Hey Brooke." She said as she entered the locker room. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing." Said Brooke, twisting her hair between her fingers. "Just getting ready to go for a run."

"Well don't stay out too long, it's supposed to be hot out." Sophie said as she retrieved a bottle of water from her locker then left.

When Brooke was alone again, she examined herself in the mirror. Was Sophie thinner than her? No wonder she was the captain of not only the eagles, but the cheerleading team as well. She pinched her thighs between her fingers and sighed. _I'll never look like her…_ She thought as she tried to suck in her stomach.

Feeling angry, she went for her run. She ran longer, farther, and harder than she knew she should have, but she couldn't help it. Being skinnier than Sophie was all she could focus on. It was easier to channel her pain into her desire to be thin than to face it head on. When she got back to the locker room, she was dizzy, sweaty, and tired.

She drank some water, but then remembered it would affect her weight, so she stopped. She stood on the scale, and felt defeated when she saw that the number had only gone down a little bit from before. She kicked the scale, which made a loud boom. It caused Alex to come running.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He asked as he entered the locker room also sweaty. He had been playing basketball with his friends.

"Yeah, just tripped, I'm fine though." Brooke said with a smile as she planted a kiss on his lips. She and Alex had officially started dating, and she was so happy about it. She loved everything about Alex. How kind he was, and how strong he was. Although she couldn't help but wonder if he'd like her if she was thinner. She smiled at him, and hid the pain behind her face. She was starting to get used to it always being there.

She went to the school gym and worked out for the rest of the night, weighing herself occasionally and grimacing if the number ever went up or not far down enough. Only so much could be done in a night. But she was determined to maximize it as much as she could.

Only when she was alone did she do something she was ashamed of. It was late at night, everyone was asleep, except for her. She crept out of the dormitories to look in the mirror. _Still fat. Still pathetic._ She told herself as she pinched her thighs and sucked in her stomach. She had the urge to self harm several times, but this was her first time acting on it. She took her compass out of her geometry folder, and scraped the sharp metal end against her thigh. At first she was shocked as the blood pooled out of her, but then it felt relieving, so she slit a few more. Once she was done, she bandaged herself up and went back to sleep. She felt guilty about what had happened, but also didn't care. She was starting to not care about a lot of things these days.

The next day, she got up and pretended that everything was normal. She was the carefree, happy Brooke. But deep inside, everything was not okay. And part of her was screaming out for help.


End file.
